For those about to rock...

I've been fighting off a bug recently so I've been going to bed early. For the last few nights we've heard a band playing after we've turned everything off - we thought at first that it was a local neighbour playing a loud stereo, or possibly a band practicing in a nearby house. Turns out that it was AC/DC, playing at a stadium about 5 miles away! Not sure if it's cool or sad to write about being kept awake by AC/DC...

In other news, I've now officially applied for Australian citizenship. I've chosen the oath that isn't 'under god' (you get the choice of whether to include that phrase or not, although my pagan mates in the UK will be upset to hear that 'under the gods' doesn't seem to be an option) and now I need to wait for a citizenship test. Once that's been sat and assuming I pass I then need to wait until I can attend a citizenship ceremony. Once I swear the oath at the ceremony I'm an Aussie. That could take up to 6 months but I'm looking forward to it. The only question then will be who to cheer for during the Ashes :)

Go England!

Well that's your problem right there mate

Our office printer stopped working the other day. Somebody turned up to dismantle it & take a look - it turned out that a lizard had somehow found it's way into the cooling fan and died. Wonder if that has a special error code?

Aspirations

Everyone has goals, dreams, aspirations. A lot of the people I work with have grandiose expectations - more money, flash car, big house, climbing the corporate ladder, private parking space. I seem to have simpler goals - to bunnyhop my bike, to grind on in-line skates, to keep up with certain people on certain trails, to be true to myself, to be happy. I guess this makes me childish, although I prefer a more Taoist interpretation of 'childlike'.

I suspect that if Buddha had had a bike he would have spent hours learning to bunnyhop it.

Why don't you move your feet?

I don't think I'm one of those ex-pats who spends their entire time grumbling about where I'm living and wishing I was back home. But the Australian attitude at gigs leaves me scratching my head. We went to see 'The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart' at the Zoo last night. For anyone who's not heard of them the Pains are a jangly indie pop band that put a smile on your face and a song in your heart (lookthem up on YouTube), and the Zoo is one of Brisbanes best small gig venues.

Back in the UK you tend to get gig crowds split into 4 layers -

• The first couple of rows are devoted fans pressed against the stage just happy to be close their idols (and to maybe grab a plectrum, a set list or a drop of sweat to take home with them)
• Then you have the dancers (or the moshpit for more aggresive music)
• Fading out of the dancers you get the swayers - no discrete split here so you can find a spot to suit your groove
• Finally you get the watchers, happy to have a beer and check out the band from the back of the room

Over here hardly anyone seems to want to dance - the first 8 rows of the crowd are pretty much static apart from the odd rhythmic nod or gentle sway and then you get the watchers. And if you do 'dare to dance' you risk colliding with and getting cursed by people attempting to get photos of the band silhouetted against spotlights with a 2Mb phone camera with no flash and on maximum digital zoom. Now don't get me wrong - I'm not expecting the sort of choreography you see on 'So you think you can dance' and my personal dance style looks like a derivation of the Madchester shuffle as done by a crippled performing bear - but I don't know how so many people can keep so still to such good music.
I'm assured that this isn't always the case but I've not seen much different in any of the music I've seen over here. We're off to Melbourne in a month or so and I'll try and catch a gig down there to see if it's a Brissie thing or country wide...

Hey Fatty!

We have a pet who lurks in a tank in our kitchen getting nervous whenever we make garlic butter

Meet Fatima

We thought she was a male for the first year of her life and we called her 'Fatty'. Then one day she produced a stack of eggs so we renamed her Fatima as we didn't want her getting a complex about her weight.
Not that it would probably worry her. Crayfish need to shed their skins to grow and they leave an entire crayfish outer (down to legs & antennae) lying in the tank, which scares the hell out of you when you first see it. Fatima likes to eat her previous shell, down to the last claw.

That crayfish is just full of herself sometimes.

Gold Coast Skate

Another hot weekend and the perfect weather to head down to the coast and go for a skate

About 20 of us met up at Broadbeach and cruised down to Burleigh Heads, taking in a bit of grass skiing on the way

It's all fun & games until someone loses some skin

The beaches in Australia really are beautiful, although as the day comes to an end the shadows lengthen and cover the beach. It's worse by the towers you can see in the distance (our start and end point), but the post-skate swim was still worth it.

Birthday barbecue

I made good use of some of my birthday presents last night

Chicken coated in a fennel rub, smoked with mesquite and hickory wood chips, kept moist by birthday beer poured into an appropriately placed V can and with the temperature monitored by a remote sensor.

Ah the simple life :)

Birthday cake was lovely too - thanks Liz.

Turning 40

I woke up this morning to find that I was middle-aged. 40 years have flown past and I'm probably over halfway through my time on this earth. Laying in bed I realised that I've been incredibly lucky. I've seen and done a lot of fun and interesting things over the years, and the best bit is that I don't see that ending soon.

Thank you to all that have influenced my life and helped me become who I am. Stay safe.

Wildside Day 4

Day 4

Stage 7 - Hells Gate 36k
The final day dawned with beautiful sunshine yet again

There was relief in the air at the mustering point as they measured up the Clyesdale (90kg +) & Super Clydesdale (100kg+) categories on a picnic table. Someone asked if I was entering which was a little concerning! I was expecting a slightly easier day today despite the warnings of soft sand in the singletrack. We rolled out in groups along the road and then hit the sanddunes. And the soft sand. After some sliding around, some pushing and some front wheel washouts we finally got down to the sea. Riding along the beach was awesome once you learnt to ignore the sounds from your drivetrain.
After a few ks and a bit of a headwind it was starting to grind.

Most people would have ridden it in a pack but I was riding alone, passing or being passed occasionally. Finally we came off the beach. The marshals warned about soft sand in the singletrack and they weren't lying. The sand was in long pits track wide and 3 or 4 inches deep in places. Sometimes you could ride through the middle or fight the undergrowth for the harder edges but for most of the time it was a case of ride 50ft and push 50ft. For about 10k. The sand had also got into my wet socks and was being ground into my blister every time I walked. I've ridden better singletrack. No pictures from here - I forgot until it was over and then I never wanted to see sand again...

Eventually we got back onto gravel roads and eventually bitumen. I pushed as hard as I could and the k's ticked over - finally we were in the last sections and after one last sand section it was done. I was exhausted but I'd still remembered to be pro and zip up my jersey.

I perked up after a beer & a paddle in the ocean - there's 6 months of hard work and fear behind that smile
After cleaning the bike we had presentations, where I found that I would have come second if I'd been riding in the ladies super masters. I think I've found my niche.
After that we chilled out in Strahan for a while

and then up to one of the local bars for sunset

By the sound of things on the bus the next day the party went on for some time. I was drunk & exhausted by 9pm and stumbled my back to my tent for one last night. I should have stayed out - it took me over 12 hours to get home to Brisbane the next day!

Wildside Day 3

Day 3

Spray Tunnel - 6kI was looking forward to this one as it was run in a dual time-trial format, riders leaving every 30 seconds. The course went through a motocross park before hitting singletrack and the 'spray tunnel', specially lit for the occasion. After nervous conversations in the start channel I went hard until I got out of sight of the start and then sat on my competitors wheel. Until we hit the first hill where I dug deep and found - nothing. The motocross park was a few poorly formed loose jumps that I was too exhausted to enjoy (after one small jump I shouted to the photographer 'I hope you got that!' and he said 'got what?') and 10 mins in I was debating pulling out a gel. The 3k sign arrived about the time I thought we would be finising and all I could do was watch a stream of people come past. By then I'd remembered all I'd eaten the night before was steak, sausage, chicken and a small amount of potato salad - my primary carb souce had been two pints of the Boags draught and the last bottle of Premium in the pub. Probably not optimum nutrition after a day in the saddle.

Mike Tomalaris had just arrived to commentate on the end of the stage but hadn't set up when I made it over the line. I offered to re-finish and vomit for the cameras but he didn't seem interested.

Cruise Stage - 15k

The time trial had slowest riders starting first so we had plenty of time to ride down to the ocean at Trial Harbour. This was a great ride over a chalky dirt road with the green hills behind and the coast ahead.

Trial Harbour is a beautful little community of weatherboard shacks and the odd posh house tucked away next to some good looking surf breaks. I took advantage of my extended stop and ate my fill before having a bit of a kip in the shade of the medical tent. I had some wierd dreams because of the conversations going on inside!

Stage 6 - 22k
This stage was billed as 'mountain biking at its best' and it lived up to its reputation. First there was a pretty ugly climb out of the village on the chalky road we'd come in on - the leaders even got filmed by helicopter.

Then we followed a rough coastal 4wd route over rocks, through sand and up & down numerous creeks & washouts along the side of the coast.

The scenery was fantastic.

But you couldn't take your eyes off the track for long - this is one of the easy sections but imagine the rocks under the surface growing to the size of beachballs as you bounce down the washouts (no photos of the gnarly stuff - I was preoccupied)
I saw a few nasty falls and a fair bit of skin sacrificed to the trail. L group was by this time just trying to finish so most of the time everyone jumped off the bikes at the first sign of a technical climb but when someone went for it everyone else whooped and cheered them up the hill. Apart from the one guy that overcooked it, picked up his front wheel and literally fell sideways into and flattened the guy next to him.

When we hit the 5k mark there was a big cheer but we could have done without the uphill finish!
After the stage there was an hour long bus transfer to Strahan. The bikes were loaded into a dump truck and unlike Garapine a few months ago mine didn't fall out in transit.

That night I had another cold shower & then walked the couple of K's into town for pasta, beer and the first cashpoint that I'd seen all trip. Unfortunately the only Tassie beer on tap anywhere that we stayed was Boags - the Wizard Smith is more of an english ale but still pretty nondescript.

Wildside Day 2

Day 2
We rolled out of Tullah at 9am to get to the start of the first stage

Stage 3 - 14k
This was an awesome stage. After a few ks of fireroad we entered the singletrack winding its way up to the rainforest.

This was the one time that I wished I was in a faster group as the people I was with were having troubles climbing in the damp. There was a lot of getting in each others way and toppling off into the bush when the rider in front of you spins out. I was following one guy who'd just stop & remount on the track no matter who was riding up behind him. It was frustrating to get past someone, get balked 10m further up the trail and then get out of the way to let the same guy past again. Still, these people were faster than me in other places so it was a fair grading.

After some loose rocky fireroads it got fun again with a great mossy singletrack descent. There were some pretty gnarly bits so I took it easy and walked some of the downs as well, sniggers of my hard core riding mates ringing round my head. Note to self - I need to ride more technical trails.

We had lunch at Roseberry and the fast boys had a 'dash for cash' race on the velodrome - this from the victory lap

Stage 4 - 38k

This was the stage I was looking forward to and dreading in equal measure. It started off on a nasty 6k bitumen climb (not fun in 33 degree heat) and then the track gradually slipped from gravel trail to doubletrack before we got to Montezuma falls. This is the highest waterfall in Tasmania, and the valley is bridged by a narrow suspension bridge.

The suspension bridge was pretty freaky as it swayed & bounced around, and the matting they'd laid down meant you couldn't see what you were stepping on. I'm not scared of heights but I didn't enjoy it.After that we climbed gradually but relentlessly through the rainforest until the trail finally tipped downhill. It was awesome after that with bermy swoopy doubletrack and lots of puddles (one in twenty containing a hidden wheel swallower) to keep you cool.

Don't remember much after the descent from Montezuma. Mud, puddles, creeks, rock, more mud - it wasn't fun. They had a waterstop at 28km to refuel. You can see how much I'm enjoying it - I ran over a snake at one point and was debating faking a snakebite.

After that we climbed up a riverbed and then there was a lot more mud and water and sand and hills. And then somehow it was over.

Cruise - 7k

We cruised our tired & squeaky way down to Zeehan, an old and dieing mining town. By the time I'd washed the bike & found my tent the showers were cold. After a quick clean up I had a big plate of meat at the barbecue and a couple of beers, then collapsed into bed.

Wildside day 1

Race 1 - 17k from Cradle Mountain

This was the 'seeding' race so we were jumbled up based purely on category. The whistle went and everyone took off. The race was on moorland on grass over what felt like peat so it sucked the energy out of you - apparently it was a lot worse last year too. I quickly stopped trying to keep my group in sight and just rode at a comfortable-ish pace, reglarly being passed by guys from the groups that had left after me. At this point I had a sudden realisation of how fit everybody else was compared to me! Still, too late to back out now. By the end of the stage we'd had some creek crossings, it'd switched to fireroads and even some dusty singletrack and the riding was fun - I'd even managed to pass a couple of people.

Cruise stage 1 - 15k

This cruise stage almost finished me off! There were some big hills to get over - you can see the road in the distance.

Descents were fun though - I hit 72km/h on the way down. Lunch was great and afterwards we got seeded based on the first race time. My mate Jon had managed to get into group D on his rigid SS on-one. I was in group L. Jon said 'I didn't know they went that far back'. Thanks mate :).

Race 2 - 22k

It was good to line up with my athletic peers

This was a fireroadie race with only a little bit of singletrack at the start. The level of gumbiness was fairly impressive with me adding my fair share - someone in the lead three would put a foot down, we'd all grind to a halt and then for some reason I was having trouble clipping in so half the field would roll past. Also managed to fall into a mud pit for no reason at all. We switched to fireroads around the outside of a pretty cool damn and then we hit the first real river crossing - wading across up to my waist in murky water. I thought we'd got lost at first. After that it degenerated into lots of fire road pinch climbs, fast descents and the occasional sleeper to catch out the unwary - one sleeper-bridge with a hidden hole in the middle had a line of 4 people all fixing flats on the other side. I was still working on taking it easy so walked a lot of the ups to conserve energy. At this point the combination of wet socks and walking was starting to cause my shoes to dig in to my heels.

Cruise 2 - 17k

After the race stage we cruised down to Tullah for the night. It was mainly downhill but I was starting to struggle to keep the legs turning on the flat sections. Tullah was gorgeous with a pub next to the lakeside for the presentations

Somebody had their bike nicked during the presentations which got us all nervous so I slept with mine

A few days later Tullah was almost evacuated because of bush fires and when we were there the smoke was thick in the air, turning the moon was a deep red

Wildside

One of the things that prompted this blog (and in particular the title) was me doing 'Wildside', a 4 day mountain bike race in Tasmania. I signed up in a fit of enthusiasm and then the realities of what I had to do hit me. I've also been struggling with a bad back for many years. I went to see Steve at U-turn Fitness and he helped get me in shape for the race but I was struggling to fit the training in between work trips and the heat of Queensland summer. My goal was just to finish the race and to stay cheerful throughout. The next four posts are 'my story' from the blunt end of the pack...

What's this all about then?

Hi - welcome to my blog. Been thinking about doing one of these for a while now and a rainy day in old Brisbane town prompted me to do it. I've moved a long way from where I used to call home and sometimes I have stories I want to tell old friends so this may be the medium that lets me do that. Expect ramblings about riding bikes, inline skating, music, drinking beer and of course ruminations about life. Thanks for looking & hopefully you'll find it worth a flick though.